FOR EVERYONE

Discovering

Secrets | Betrayal | Healing

Resources

FOR

Women
Who
Discover

Secrets | Betrayal | Healing

Resources

Understand
Complex Partner Trauma

THE MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN 

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What's worse than discovering your partner’s sexual secrets? ...Being lied to about it over and over again. 

Secret infidelity has many different manifestations (physical, emotional, exclusively online, etc.) and the boundaries are unique for every coupleship. But nearly all cheating has one thing in common: it's kept secret. 

 

If we take a closer look at the nature of these secrets, we realize how they create significant inequity in committed relationships.  

When a significant other has been restrained from knowing essential information about their own relational reality, they cannot accurately assess their own safety and wellbeing; their agency and ability to consent become compromised. Using power and control to keep the significant other in the dark is more than just betrayal… it could be betrayal violence.

The power and control used to maintain a secret life is the glaring issue in modern infidelity that has been long overlooked.   

It's not enough for the unfaithful partner to simply become faithful. Faithfulness is a mere base-line requirement. They must also dissolve the power differential they chose to construct using secrets and subterfuge. 

 

Programs

When you discovered your partner’s sexual secrets the life and love you had built together seemed to burn down in an instant.

You've been there - in the rubble heap - sifting for signs of promise. You remember the unbelievable anguish.

 

Will you ever feel free and wholly safe again?

You might be in the process of healing or you are single now but either way you want to feel better. You’ve read all the books - done all the therapy - but you want to move beyond feeling stuck.

If you feel that there is more healing for you then - you’re right - there is more healing you can have. My speciality is targeting those hard-to-pinpoint, deeper areas of the trauma and helping you frame it all together in a way that makes sense according to your own experience.

Let's get you operating confidently in your intuition; let's find YOU again.

 

Programs

Feedback on Hope's Betrayal Violence and Complex Partner Trauma Programs:

 

"Thanks for everything. This may have saved my marriage."

 

"Thank you, so much, for what you do. Putting in your effort, time and your compassion that you are able to give to others and me. Helping so many women in this area. I felt so comfortable and safe being with you. You care about the women who have gone through betrayal and it really shows."

 

"It was a very powerful, positive experience that left me feeling very hopeful. I’m looking forward to doing the work to move forward in my life."

 

"Thank you. This has changed our lives."

The vault: resources and programs 

Impact Letter
Outline

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Hope's
Private Podcast

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RESOURCES TO BUILD RESILIENCY

Impact Letter Outline

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE

Hope's Private Podcast

LISTEN NOW

What's in the vault library?

See All The Good Stuff

I’m Hope Ray.

I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor and the founder of the Betrayal Violence Institute, an interdisciplinary network that provides training to better understand the conduct and impact of secret infidelity in intimate relationships.